


there's an old voice in my head that's holdin' me back

by galacticspaceray



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: M/M, au where hinata isn't an oblivious idiot, slight canon divergence ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticspaceray/pseuds/galacticspaceray
Summary: Komaeda's infected with the despair disease and absolutely hates it.





	there's an old voice in my head that's holdin' me back

**Author's Note:**

> uuuhhhh i know i'm late but i only just started getting into danganronpa december 2017 and you know like the late person i am i decided to write a "what if" scenario where what if hinata isn't a goddamn dumbass in chapter three and recognizes that komaeda doesn't want to be alone in the hospital lmao

The ground shook from underneath Nagito, as if he were the white flecks in a snow globe and someone had started shaking it vigorously. Now he was lost in the dizzying hale with only a brief second to get his bearings before having any sense of understanding ripped away from him once again.

He wheezed something incomprehensible, his brain slowing down before coming to a complete halt. The next thing he knew, the back of his head smacked into the floor, pain exploding from the impact and his sight becoming hazy. A storm of voices he suddenly couldn’t recognize boomed into existence, accompanied by faces that blurred into blocks of color. He felt someone carrying his body, but his mind had been numbed, and when he tried to speak, his tongue suddenly swelled until nothing but incomprehensible nonsense came out of his mouth.

And then everything went black.

***

His consciousness swam in and out, fading into view for brief minutes before fading away again.

From what he could tell from when he was awake _was_ that he was in a hospital room, but whenever he spoke, his mouth either ached and forced him to say the exact opposite of what he wanted to say, or his tongue just didn’t work and he didn’t. Tsumiki was almost always in his room, her anxious face peering down at him from her spot next to the bed, but he didn’t want her there. He wanted to be alone – he deserved it, right? Scum like Nagito shouldn’t be nursed to health, he should be cast aside and discarded and – 

“Is he better?” Asked a voice he hadn’t heard many times since he found himself in this scratchy cot. Nagito thought about the gentleness in his voice. He wondered if he deserved it.

“He’s conscious,” replied Tsumiki, her high-pitched voice suddenly too high and drilling a hole into his mind. He felt the urge to tell her to shut up, but his face and his tongue wouldn’t cooperate, he knew that. He’d smile and say something about how melodious her voice was and he really did not want her to believe that.

Tsumiki suddenly moved, turning to look at something that was just out of his view. Her hair brushed his face and he fought the urge to flinch.

Suddenly, Hinata’s face popped into Nagito’s view, and he could definitely see the nervousness and apprehension and fear in his face. A laugh bubbled from within his throat, clawing its way up to his mouth, his voice shaking and hoarse with disuse. “Hinata,” he rasped, the smile that forced itself onto his face covering only amplifying the fear in Hinata’s face. “Hinata Hajime came to see me? I must be very unlucky.”

Hinata frowned at him, then turned to Tsumiki, who had just been getting off of the stool she had been sitting on all day. “His symptom is compulsive lying, right?” He asked.

Tsumiki nodded briefly in reply, then stated that she was going to check on Mioda and Owari, leaving Nagito alone with Hinata.

“Wow, we’re all alone, huh?” Nagito smiled, his the ache in his mouth returning. “Alone with Hinata Hajime. No, I don’t want that. Get out. I hate you.”

Hinata’s eyebrows raised, an unreadable expression on his face, and he began turning around with a quiet, nonchalant, “Alright, if you say so.”

Nagito gritted his teeth, frustrated with this stupid disease and frustrated with himself being affected so badly and frustrated with his stupid mouth that won’t say what he wanted it to say.

So, he decided to stop talking and start acting.

His hand shot out from his cot, and grabbed Hinata’s hand, causing the other boy to turn around and blink. “I thought you just said you hate me and want me to leave,” he said, eyebrows still raised.

“Leave,” replied Nagito, desperately meaning the exact opposite. He began pulling at Hinata’s arm. “I want you to leave. I want to be alone.”

Hinata’s eyebrows knitted together, mouth twisting into a thoughtful frown. He slowly, carefully, began to sit on Nagito’s cot, making sure not to actually sit on him. His hands gently pried Nagito’s fingers away, and if he were not so dizzy with fever and affected so badly by the despair disease, Nagito probably would have either burst into a rant about hope and despair to keep Hinata away or burst into tears. He didn’t know which one was more likely to happen.

“If you don’t want me to, then I won’t,” Hinata replied, his face now softening, along with his voice. “Don’t worry.”

Ice ran through Nagito’s body at his words. Did he deserve it? Probably not, but he needed it. He was scared and tired and fed up with himself and he hated being this way and –

Something settled on his head.

He blinked, suddenly seeing Hinata resting his hand on Nagito’s forehead, just like this (was it really that short of a time?) morning, the same soft concern on his face.

“You’re still hot,” Hinata murmured, face once again twisting as fear mingled in with the concern. “Hasn’t Tsumiki done anything to help?”

“Yes,” Nagito rasped. “She’s done a lot. Hey, can you leave now? Get out of my sight. I hate being this close to you, Hinata. You’re so ugly, did you know that? I hate ugly things.”

His heart lurched in horror as Hinata smiled. “I think you look pretty horrible yourself, Komaeda,” he said, gently. “I really hope that you can get better soon.”

“Keep talking,” said Nagito, flashing Hinata a wide smile. “Keep talking like you care about me! I’m sure you do. After all, I’m one of the best people in the world, right? Right? I’m amazing, of course you care about me, don’t you, Hinata?”

He suddenly wished he hadn’t said that, because now the smile melted off of Hinata’s face, the same, soft concern that had just been there a minute ago. “Komaeda,” he murmured, his fingers brushing Nagito’s bangs away from his forehead. “Stop saying things like that. You’re worth just as much as the rest of us.”

Even the mastermind? Nagito thought to himself.

Hinata paused, almost looking horrified. He stared at Nagito, then at his hands, then back at Nagito again. “I – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have invaded your space like that – “

Nagito blinked, only just processing what had just happened.

Oh.

_Oh._

As if a switch had been flipped, both boys stiffened, both realizing the situation they were both in. Hinata shuffled quietly in place, inching away. Before he got too far, though, Nagito held Hinata’s hand again, eyes wide. “Leave,” he whispered. “I want to be alone.”

Catching what Nagito meant, Hinata nodded, relaxing slightly. “I won’t,” he reassured. “I’ll still be here until you get better.”

Nagito breathed out, closing his eyes. He realized just how tired he was and rested his head back against the pillow again. “I really hate you, Hinata,” he mumbled, not removing his hand from its place on Hinata’s. “I really, really hate you, Hinata . . . “

As he allowed the drowsiness to wash over him and pull him to sleep again. The next time he woke up, Hinata was right there for him before he drifted away again.

**Author's Note:**

> also i'm really horrible at titles don't @ me it's from little talks by of monsters and men


End file.
